Finding Your Goals

"Just remember that someday you'll be swimming with the turtles again," said my mother when I was in the hospital after having a massive stroke. I had had a massive stroke. That at first had left me in a coma, for a few weeks. And then as the coma lifted I was left with questions. And more questions. Things I didnt understand, things I couldn't understand. Nightmares were common place. Infact I still have memories of those horrible nightmares. Where was I? What had happened to me? Who was I? Who? What? Why? Where? When? I needed all those questions answered, and there was nobody there to answer them, sadly enough. My aspumtion was that the hospital was feeding me so many drugs that I felt like I had become some sort of baboon, so to speak.

So when my mother said that I would be swimming with the turtles again, I rolled my eyes in disbelief. I was thinking there is no way that I can imagine anything but this incredibly sad change in fortune,that had become my life. You see, my mother had absolutely no clue as to what I was going through. At that point in time I could not walk, could not see much at all, could not have any sence of independence, cryed for my lost children, and oh my gosh so much more. The tears were my solice, it seemed they were my only friend. For several hours a day I would cry. My life was over, I thought. I had had a massive stroke.  And along with it everything I knew from my previous life was gone. And in its wake all I had was this inconcevable life which I did not want any part of.

And so it went for many months on end. That I would be stuck in this horrible place of sadness, with no family to buffer the blows I was experiencing.  Kind of like winding up on a deserted Island all alone.  One thing is for sure, I was going through this alone.  And I wanted to die.  

Although I found myself in such distress, in the end it turned out my mother  was right.
I would be swimming with the turtles again.  Infact it turns out that sometime in the next month I will be going to a beach in Kihei named Kavakapu.  It's absolutely pristine, I love it there.    

In light of this, I encourage anybody and really everybody to have the best attitude you can drum up.   In the end this is the only way life will works at its best.  Take kindly what life gives you and remember that its all in how you perceive what is happening not just what you think is happening.