Thursday, December 4, 2008

Life After Stroke Chapter One


Hello, listener, I write to you from the beautiful Island of Maui. In fact, I call it "my Maui" almost as though I have some kind of ownership of her. Silly, I suppose, isn't it? But I am not alone in my daydreams about who many of us call "Mother Maui". And this is a bit of my story.

I had a stroke three years ago and it left me unable to read or write or speak or just about anything at all. If you close your eyes you can try to imagine what it's like to go from a very active person to one who is trying to figure out where her hands, and her feet and her limbs are.

At first it seemed like it was just not that big of a deal. But as time moved along and the healing continued I suddenly realized that my life had no resemblance to the life that I had known for the previous thirty years.  In short what had happened to me was that I was left after having a coma and I didn't really understand anything that I had just been through although I knew that what had happened was major. 

Through time I've realized that nearly all of my friends have disappeared and sadness has become a very constant and lonely friend. Yes, this friend would become my constant companion albeit not the companion of my choice, but the companion of my life. Most people remarked about how well I was doing, how wonderful I looked, and all I could say in response was a nod and "Yeah, sure. Thanks."  As I understand it now, it's very difficult for people to comprehend the enormity of what has happened to me and therefore so very hard to empathize.

In fact, even in the writing of this paragraph I'm noticing how painful it is to go back there and to speak about it as it has been such a long and difficult journey. In a way, I felt like I needed to light candles to find my way out and I am still using that dim light to find my way now.  Truly unbelievable. So you can see that from where I am now, I have really come such a long way. I can now see fairly well, I can speak as though I never had any problems at all, I am very mobile and in fact I am now able to walk and I am even able to use a walker device which is awesome as it has helped me become very mobile. Unfortunately, I still am living in a body that causes me tremendous pain and I still cannot read or write, nor can I see much beyond my immediate self. 

However, I am so very, very blessed to be amongst my family who still really loves and cares for me. 
I will be writing more information in my future blogs as to how my recovery is going and I pray that I will remember all the good things and surround myself with those people who are encouraging, uplifting, supportive, understanding, empathetic, cheerful, and upbeat. ☺

2 comments:

Life without Clots said...

Hey fellow survivor. Great to see, er, read of another blogger who is coping with day to day stuff.
I have been blogging elsewhere for close to 3 years.
http://blogs.redding.com/lwatters/archives/
Just recently decided to really spread my wings and try new places.

Unknown said...

Tara It is great to read your blog>> You have come a long way in your recovery.. You have alwasy been religeous..I guess you have to look for Gods design in all of this.. Keep making lemonaid! Sounds like you are really coming to terms with where you are ..from that pint you can finally start growing and climbing mountains again. You have alwasy been such a good writer ... and it still shows..Love ya Leanne