Monday, April 8, 2013

The Agnoy of "unsolveable pain."

Pain is something I never wanted to have as most people would say they don't want any level of pain.
Unfortunately my life has become all about pain, and how I can deal with. The pain I have in my body is absolutely terrible and I wonder why God has stricken me this way.

The pain for me set in at the same time that I had my first born child. I had no Idea what had happened to me, the pain that was ABSOLUTLY UNBELIEVABLE. PERHAPS THE LORD WAS ANGRY WITH ME FOR A FEW THINGS I HAD DONE WORNG IN MY LIFE?
Of COURSE THAT WAS SILLY, BUT I COULD NOT IMAGINE WHAT OR WHY THIS PAIN CAME ON TO ME. The NAME OF THIS PAIN IS A Peripheral Poly Neuropathy, idiopathic IN NATURE. THERE APPEARED TO BE NO REASON FOR THE PAIN. NO RELIEF AND NO STOPPING IT. My Word! My feet burned , and burned, and burned some more. Like being in two separate worlds at the same time, very complicated to understand. Cold to the touch yet hot and burning inside. My life became about the burning pain. IT FELT LIKE A LIVING HELL, OF SORTS. I felt I had been given a death sentence. Of course I did not dye.  I have what many others also have dealt with,  Peripheral Poly Neuropathy is the correct title for this specific diagnosis.

 I used to walk thru Fred Meyers barefoot because they had super cold floors. Having said this I came to realize that there was no way I could live the way I previously had been living. In fact I moved back to Maui from Bend OR. (The move was a great thing as Maui is in my blood forever.) I never took medication other than the occasional headache. So I was completely unprepared for the kind of pain that I now had to deal with. The only way I could describe it was in sobs. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed , but at the end of all the sobbing there was only more impassioned sobbing. That had never been my mode of operandi. I have always laughed and found joy in so many arenas. My focus was now reserved for the execrating reality of my life.  Electric pain so radical as to have no other way  to describe it. Like having twelve thousand bolts of electricity driven into me. I don't know how many volts exactly, it was substantial beyond my wildest imaginings.
 Oh my word there is so much craziness happening... finally my feet became more tolerable. I met with a doctor who has worked with me for several years. I began with a combination of prescription medications along with alternative methods of safe herbal medications. Some relief was found. All be it the necessity of keeping a steady blood flow. Although I was in a state of not feeling my feet at all. It was the only choice I could reasonably make. Not feeling my feet put me in an oddball situation, you are supposed to fell your feet. What I felt was nothing, like blocks of unknown matter. My feet became a nonentity making mobility a little more dangerous. You don't know if you have something in your toe. Sadly the nerves in both feet dyed. What was left for me was after gaining the relief from the insidious pain was nearly no feeling at all in my feet.
When one has substantial pain, we need to know what part of the body it is in. Right now I have pain in my hands and fingers and the right hip.
 To say the least I needed to learn how to deal with this kind of negative existence . I had no preparation for a disease so incapacitating. I went to my doctor who had only met one other patient that had a struggle so profound as mine. Most people in life could not comprehend my predicerment, they would look at me stupefied with little to no understanding of the enormity of this disease. It was a complete clammily, and it still is. Unfortunately what the future will holds remains unknown, and the probabilities are extremely frightening to me. Now I realize there are many more of you out there in "pain land" who are dealing with all kinds of neuropathic pain. But I persavire... Mind control is part of the solution. In my effort to find  resolve to this situation I was in, had largely to do with as you think. As you think, so it will be. It is very important to not allow yourself to tire out or become exhausted, that will help to create more pain. As you tire you loose your perspective on the level of pain that you can deal with. Make sure that you explain to your doctor, when the scale of 1-10 is used,  where 10 is the most intense. Be careful not to use awful horrible, retched. 11 is out of this world. 15 is off the chats:) !
Using silly word like wows'za, zinger, another words stay as positive as you can because remember YOUR MIND IS LISTENING. so INSTEAD OF swear words replace that with positives like wowza or owwawawawa growing in sound etc. or make up your own personal pleasing sounds for you.  So be very careful at all times of the words you choose because it is important to remember your mind is: ALWAS LISTENING...
Try having a heating pad or breathing deeply and make sure you are in a quite environment. Massage to the temples, and overall gentle touch. Touch is incredibly powerful, the art of sharing positive energy. The human touch is probably the most over looked (element) in reference to pain reduction.   Touch can anything you put your mind to. And so never forget the power that is available to you AT every moment, via the element of touch.
There is another type of medicine that may surpass all others. While this may be to much reality for some, however if you have a friend who might share a bit of * ~ pakalolo. It may very well could be natures or Gods answer to this level of pain. Many people call it medicine because it helps so much.

Other things we can do for ourselves to release the pain  ~ is
1) stretching
2) focusing on something else
3) using aromatherapy
4) positive reinforcement using mantras.
5) prayer is powerful! The Lord is my Shepard, with him I shall not want.

The Lord's Prayer

King James Version (KJV)

These are the words from the Lord's prayer in Matthew 6:9-13, taken from the King James Bible

9 Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
 10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
 11 Give us this day our daily bread.
 12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
 I often say that music is the gateway to the soul. It enables you to free your soul while your body gently revives itself. You need to try each different avenue to see which one works best for you. Think of whatever is positive in your life right now, and think of happy moments. Anything that aids us in the reduction of stress will keep the muscles from tensing. Where ever your stress is located we want to send positive messages of what it is to be pain free.

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