To My Brave Golden Haired Boy

There is a little boy that I know so well. He used to be a tiny tot, but now he is not. His name is Matthew. He likes to use the name Matt because it has three less letters he has to write. I vowed that I would never let a day go by without telling him how loved he is and until his departure for college, I have lived up to that promise. Ah ha, however, now there is this thing called Facebook which allows me to continue my promise once made when he was such a little boy with long golden hair and kisses all over his sweet body. Oh how I miss those days! Where did they go? I look at him now as he stands at 6'2'' . All I can say is my boy has grown and I am so proud of that boy that now stands so tall beside me. He will never understand the love that I have for him. He even once said :"stop loving me so much, you love me too much." Someday those same words he will hear again with his own child. They will resound and perhaps he will remember those days gone by where he was loved and kissed and I was able to make him giggle. Oh how I miss those beautiful green eyes and giggly laugh.  Yes my Matthew, you will always be my Matthew even though there are fewer letters in the name Matt you will still and forever be my Matthew who I tickled and giggled with and told you that I loved you everyday of your life. Yes, Matthew, it is the promise I made that I will never let a day go by without reminding you of how much you are loved. 

 Now it's your turn to find the lovely future mother and have your own children that you will love and make giggle just the way I did with you. Please make sure you show them the patience that you were rewarded with just for being you, and indeed you were in need of much patience! 

Oh my Gosh, my sweet little green eyed tower of bravery who I promised that I would love everyday and so I have even through times where you scared the life out of me and the doctors but you even then showed your bravery and always always always I just loved you my sweet little green eyed love. I love you Matthew. 

I heard that you were out braving the snow at the top of Mauna Loa and I hope that you are finding that joyous time that can be so rare when life gets moving so fast. 

I wish you all the love, joy, laughter, and all that God gave to you that you must now remember so that you can pass on those lovely days of getting tickled by your mom and loved and cuddled and forever told how much you mean to me. May your life be filled with joy, grip onto it my son, take it, hold onto it and never be afraid to love. Matthew, oh how you are loved. I write you this with what you would expect, tears in my eyes. But remember, that's one way of knowing how much somebody cares for you. To my little golden haired, silly boy who I love with all my heart. Love, Mom.   

Love of Laughter

Now that we've gotten to know each other a little better, I want to bring back the laughter and the silliness that is more of who I really am instead of just the sad lady who lost a lot and has fought for her life back and is slowly gaining it back again. This is how I want my children to think of me when they read this ten years on or twenty years on. I want them to see who Mom really was AND still is. The vibrant, happy go lucky lady who loves to laugh. My laughter is like the hallmark of my personality and how I desire to be remembered  forever and ever. ☺

The laughter that I'm known for with so many I have been kidded about, kind of made fun of, and perhaps even chided for in a tongue and cheek way, but all in good humor I would say. Everyone has always made fun of me since I do laugh a lot- and loudly. Anybody that knows me knows of my love of laughter and I make no apologies for that. I will always be remembered for my funny antics and crazy things that depict my sense of humor. Essentially, laughter is the key to my soul and I love to find humor in most anything and laughter in nearly everything. These are the things that I want to be remembered for.  Anyone who is reading this today will find a chuckle from some crazy or silly or downright dumb thing I have done. But overall, I hope that I will be remembered for my love of life and my  Jua du vivre (Love of Life) those who know French better than I,  please check spelling and get back to me ☺

There are so many things that I would love to comment about at this time. There are such wonderful people that I have known in my life and that I am so blessed to have known. 

Remember how I love to ski and the people that I have taught to ski and the people that I have dived with by snorkeling and by a little bit of scuba diving? Those fortunate (or otherwise) people that found my questionable sense of humor left upon their faces. Those are the things that I would like to be remembered for and not just the things that have happened in the last three to four years. I simply want to restate my love of life that I hope to be known by for many years to come and that maybe some of you might restate a funny memory in response to this blog.☺

Oh God I want my Life Back!

I want to talk about how much I loathe my walker. At first I was excited to use the wheelchair and then I discovered that it was akin to wanting to watch it burn. When the fire was over, I was hoping the whole thing would be over too, like a bad dream. But alas it turned out to be some faulty dream as though someone slipped it in my pocket. And now I have the next dream, and that is learning to use a walker. And I used to think that it would be a nightmare to have to use a cane but in reality I can't even use a cane yet. All my fears used to be born of "Oh my God, I don't ever want to have to use a wheelchair" and now I get to look forward to the almighty walker. Oh, God save me now, I have yet another thing to look forward to, but I'm a long way from it still. I am just now at the place where I can say that I can just begin to use the high speed walker with the hopes and prayers that I won't fall and break my hip again. Oh Lord, no one understands the enormity of what this is but certainly I can tell you what it is not. It is not fun and neither is the cancer that followed. Why Lord? Why me? The last thing I want to do is complain. I want everyone to see my success and yet what I feel is so much pain. My sciatic nerve is out and I thought that once I got the surgery... Oh my God I've had so many surgeries I can't even count them now. Yet I still do not want to sound ungrateful for each day but at the same time I feel like my life was stripped and I don't know how to set it on it's legs again. My life I mean. All I want to do is have my life back again, yes, that is all I want to do is a have my life back again. Where the pain doesn't grip each waking hour and the sadness is not apparent to everyone. These are the things that I pray for but they seem to be always three steps away. And yet I shall not show my sadness. I shall not show the enormity of the pain. What I want to do is have my life again. Oh GOD I LONG TO HAVE MY LIFE BACK AGAIN! Why on Earth did someone take my life away and leave this mess in it's wake? Oh God I want my life back. Oh God, I want my life back. And yet I don't want to sound ungrateful because everyone says I am doing so well, but I sound like a complainer and what I really am is sitting in a very lonely place where no one can really understand, no one but a few, if that. Oh God I want my life back. So I stand here with my walker saddled beside me. I want my life back and my friends back, all the lost friendships, or so it seems. I mean, do they ever come back? Or is this just the way life is? Never to be repeated. Yes, and never to be reinstated. 

I'm feeling very discouraged and sad. I don't know which way to turn because everything seems to be turning out wrong. I hate to sound negative but negativity seems in abundance. I feel tremendously frustrated. Although I know there are many blessings, and even some are in abundance, at the moment the blessings are hard to find. 

Those around me are challenging me to continue walking yet another step. 

I simply don't know what to do. 

Should I move to the left? Or to the right? Or straight ahead? Yes, there is not one direction that appears to be correct and sadness for me is in abundance. I love to laugh and play heartily and show off the smile that god blessed me with but right now what I feel is tremendous pain in my feet from the neuropathy. And pain is something that is right at my doorstep, at pretty much every turn.

I need to find deliverance from the pain I have and I don't know how to get rid of it.

God, please answer my prayer. I need freedom from the hardships that I have from having a massive stroke, from having my achilles tendon stripped and partially removed, from having my right kidney removed, from the removal of my thyroid and all that these surgeries left me with and without. And so many more things that no one would believe me if I told them. Oh Lord, please give me direction on this day. Thank you. Amen

Don't Forget to Unpack Your Smile

Don't forget to unpack your smile when you travel to wherever you are going this Christmas season. As I was speaking to my mother, who is now in her mid 80's, I realized that she needed to unpack her smile and not only did she need to do that but it was a reminder to me to do the same. There are so many people suffering from monetary losses in this season (myself included) and it is very frustrating and difficult to imagine how quickly money can fly out the door before we even notice that the wind was blowing.  Meanwhile, I'm working at holding strong to my ideals of remaining in good spirits this Christmas season. Lets all remember that a smile is only one little laugh away.  

I found from a recent animation movie, a bee is not supposed to bee able to fly. 

But it does. As I sit on my lonely bench, I realize how many other things are not supposed to bee what they are. It is fascinating to ponder how many other possibilities are out there that we, as mankind, don't believe can happen.

To me it is a wonderful leap of joy that nature offers us in it's lovely, simple way.  The beauty of the bee buzzing, the sound of snow falling, the ocean waves crashing, and the splendor of a sunrise all give me hope and inspiration for the arrival of another day.

The Delight of a Sunset

I'd like to speak about sunsets and what they mean to me. I have enjoyed the optimism from a sunset view many times. A special man asked me: What do you see or what do you feel when you look at the sunset in the distance? I responded that the sunset brings me joy and a subtle happy feeling that I cannot describe in any other way but that it feels like that warmth of that sunset climbs into my being and rests there so as to remind me that god is always present in and around me at all times. 

He said that if I remember this feeling I will always be a happy person. It is really just as simple as that. If I remember these basic instructions then I will be a delighted and blissful lady.  I send you blessings of this special knowledge on this day and everyday to follow. 

Life After Stroke Chapter One

Hello, listener, I write to you from the beautiful Island of Maui. In fact, I call it "my Maui" almost as though I have some kind of ownership of her. Silly, I suppose, isn't it? But I am not alone in my daydreams about who many of us call "Mother Maui". And this is a bit of my story.

I had a stroke three years ago and it left me unable to read or write or speak or just about anything at all. If you close your eyes you can try to imagine what it's like to go from a very active person to one who is trying to figure out where her hands, and her feet and her limbs are.

At first it seemed like it was just not that big of a deal. But as time moved along and the healing continued I suddenly realized that my life had no resemblance to the life that I had known for the previous thirty years.  In short what had happened to me was that I was left after having a coma and I didn't really understand anything that I had just been through although I knew that what had happened was major. 

Through time I've realized that nearly all of my friends have disappeared and sadness has become a very constant and lonely friend. Yes, this friend would become my constant companion albeit not the companion of my choice, but the companion of my life. Most people remarked about how well I was doing, how wonderful I looked, and all I could say in response was a nod and "Yeah, sure. Thanks."  As I understand it now, it's very difficult for people to comprehend the enormity of what has happened to me and therefore so very hard to empathize.

In fact, even in the writing of this paragraph I'm noticing how painful it is to go back there and to speak about it as it has been such a long and difficult journey. In a way, I felt like I needed to light candles to find my way out and I am still using that dim light to find my way now.  Truly unbelievable. So you can see that from where I am now, I have really come such a long way. I can now see fairly well, I can speak as though I never had any problems at all, I am very mobile and in fact I am now able to walk and I am even able to use a walker device which is awesome as it has helped me become very mobile. Unfortunately, I still am living in a body that causes me tremendous pain and I still cannot read or write, nor can I see much beyond my immediate self. 

However, I am so very, very blessed to be amongst my family who still really loves and cares for me. 

I will be writing more information in my future blogs as to how my recovery is going and I pray that I will remember all the good things and surround myself with those people who are encouraging, uplifting, supportive, understanding, empathetic, cheerful, and upbeat. ☺

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!☆

So kids (grown and young at heart) are you gettin' ready for the big Day? ✍ Or are you feeling positively overwhelmed by what may seem like a freight train coming  that you will obviously not be ready for? 

Well, all I can tell you is I, Tara, am feeling exactly the same way. I am getting close to feeling completely overwhelmed and positively not ready because it seems that the expectations are so great and I feel that I can't possibly fulfill everyone's dream of their perfect Christmas. 

Well, coming from my side of the fence, I absolutely adore Christmas and all the things that come with it, even though some of the things are possibly "over the top". 

Everybody realizes how overly commercialized Christmas has become and I don't think anybody except for the shop owners want that. But here's what I think about it: Christmas is a time for telling people that we love- that we love them. All in all I think it's awesome that people remember the holiday cheer: the eggnog, the scent of Christmas cookies baking in the oven, beautiful twinkling lights large and small, people's best wishes on the holiday cards, strung popcorn, plump Santas and scrawny ones from those underfed Santas ☺

So, to my blog family, who I hope is taking the journey along with me: Hau ole maka hiki ho, best wishes, Mele kalike maka and best of luck to you on creating the most delightful day imaginable - may it be everything you wish for. 

Friends Come and Go

Friends, oh yes, they come and go. This is something I can truly say I know. They offer much love, laughter, intrigue and compassion. They also tend to offer in their own special way, pain when it's time to go. 

I've had so many friends that have been close to me. We have shared the most intimate details of silly times, sad times, and those moments that will never be whispered with anyone again. 

Friends they come and go. Oh yes, I know how they come and go. I've been hurt, I've felt wounded. In fact I've felt as though I might fall with my knees to the floor and pray that the lord will take me out of this painful position and take me on the silver wings of an angel up up and away to where the land is  filled with the song of the nightingale. 

Yes, oh yes, I do truly know the beauty that lies in the pain of a friendship that has come and been lost. But, all in all, I would say to you: isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all? These words, while they do ring true, do not soothe as though they should. However, when all is said and done, I believe that we have such a small and tender hold on this thing we call life that what we must do is to appreciate every second, every minute, every year that we are so blessed to be given. Amen. 

Wishing You Delight

We looked up "delighted" on the computer's thesaurus and this is what we found: "PLEASED, glad, thrilled, overjoyed, ecstatic; on cloud nine, walking on air, in seventh heaven, jumping for joy; enchanted, charmed; amused, diverted; gleeful; informal over the moon, on top of the world, blissed out, on a high. 

In searching for all the meanings for our blogspot titled "Iamdelighted" what we found was kind of explicative of  our meaning of ourselves today. I hope today that these are all the feelings that you are feeling right now. If not, hopefully, you are receiving the wish we are sending you today. Wishing you all the delight in the world ☺.

Why I am delighted

I am delighted because god gave me the gift of language. In fact, I love language so much that many of my friends would say language is my strong suit. I love to tell people how well they look, how fun they are to be with, how much I enjoy spending time with them. It gives me so much joy in fact that I just wanted to mention a situation that happened to me one time while I was waiting in line at the gas station. My car's license plate was titled "happy".  And this one fellow who had a kind of sad looking face asked me:"and what do you have to be happy about?".  And I answered, quite simply (and audibly) : "To be alive!" And he looked at me as though I could be insane. But to this day that greeting remains in my mind as a gift to myself and hopefully a gift to him that he remembers years later. It is interesting to ponder how many times that one word, happy, made its way around the world from the back of my license plate.

Tara's Top Choices for The Seven Wonders of the World

It is the opinion of the publisher of Tara's Blog (Happylilikoi.blogspot.com) that the Island of Santorini is the most incredible place where some believe the buried city of Atlantis is located. It is simply and unimaginably picturesque and nearly takes one's breath away. Because of it's beauty and historical value (which include the ancient Frescos, like the Fishermen) Santorini Island is top on the list of our favorite wonders of the world. 

Chitzen Itza also made the list. Did you know the Mayans who lived there created the calender that we currently use today? Follow the link for a lot more informati

on about this amazing place.

The Grand Canyon, what else can we say? The Colorado River runs approximately 277 miles through it, it's magnificence is spellbinding and for you adventuresome types, there is a glass skywalk (a horseshoe shaped, glass bottom deck that extends about 70 feet over the edge of the canyon). Check it out. 

Visible from outer space, The Great Wall of China extends approximately 4,000 miles! One part of the wall was guarded by a million men during it's peak and it's thought that 2 to 3 million chinese may have died during the building construction that lasted several centuries.

Niagra Falls also made the list of wonders. 188 feet high and 2200 

feet across, Niagra Falls has become the honeymoon capital of Canada. In 1901 a 63 year old woman become the first person to ride the falls. If you can believe it, she actually rode the falls in a barrel. Incredibly, she brought her CAT along! 

Contrary to popular belief, the Great Pyramids of Egypt were not built by slaves but by Egyptians themselves. There's a lot of information about the pyramids and Egypt if you follow this link.

Our seventh and final choice is Stonehenge. Although the original purpose of Stonehenge is unclear, it is obvious that it took a great deal of energy to create. Theorists speculate that Stonehenge was created as an astronomical calender, possibly a place of worship, and maybe a burial ground.

Along this journey we discovered that there are many, many wonders in the world. Try connecting to this website to see several categories of the seven wonders of the world. 

Seven Natural Wonders of the World

When we started doing some research to embark on our journey of the seven wonders of the world, we discovered that there are actually several different wonders of the world; there are ancient wonders and natural wonders, medievel wonders and man made ones too. There's even a webpage  where one can vote for their favorite wonder to create a new seven wonders of the world. 

What are the seven natural wonders of the world? This is what we found: The Grand Canyon, The Great barrier Reef, Harbour of Rio de Janerio, Mt. Everest, Aurora, Paricutin volcano, and Victoria Falls.

Being that there are so many wonders of the world, we opted to create a list of our favorite ones. Coming Soon....

Learning New Skills

Learning to use my left hand has been a really difficult yet interesting experience as I never knew I would have to become amidexterous someday. While I think it's kind of neat to have learned such a skill, I really would rather have just stayed as a right handed person and left my hand writing to my right hand forever. However, life sometimes brings lemons instead of the lemonade that one kind of expects and therefore we need to remember to be capable of stepping outside of oneself and learning new skills that we may not really feel that we want to learn. 

And so it is for me. I had a massive stroke and lost my eyesight, my ability to walk, my ability to read, to write, to use this computer, and a multitude of other things. But you can see that I have been working really hard to regain much of what I've lost so now I can see with some difficulty. I can read with books on tape. I've learned to walk again with the use of some help from a walker and soon with my physical therapist I will be able to walk alone. It's a hell of a lot of work but all I can say is that I'm doing it and I'm doing it with the best attitude I can muster up. I have high hopes that I will be able to walk without any device. I  laugh with the help of my good friends sitting to my left and to my right (and to my center). And so you see there is life after loss and if you are one of those people who is a survivor like me may I send you my wishes for your every happiness and blessings from above. 

God Bless America

We have just heard the announcement of our new president, Barack Obama. We wish him all the luck and god speed to he and his wife. We are so fortunate to live in the United States of America and may all of us continue to appreciate our incredible blessing. 

 Come look for us as we will soon be having a really fun and interesting blog about travel in America and beyond. From sea to shining sea we will be bringing you news about exploring throughout the United States and also amazing ourselves with the seven wonders of the World.  We intend for this to be the most exciting blog we've written yet. So, come along on our journey across the oceans and into the lands where the seven wonders of the world exist to blow your mind and to excite and enthrall you.

I had a german shepherd that loved to climb up ladders. His name was Chester and he LOVED to climb the ladder to get all the way to the top, we're talking about a ten foot high ladder here. Oh, it was scary, and he was such a stupid dog! But then a little later, we had another really dumb dog. We called her quite aptly, "Dumb Dumb". We believe at this point now that she passed away from some form of cancer. We obviously realized in the end that she had a mental disorder that caused her to do things backwards and sideways and anyway else you can imagine. Because she was so mentally unwell, she used to these really stupid things. That dog did everything backwards. She would walk down the street walking backwards, she really looked rather awkward. Her name was Hana and she wasn't smart and she was kind of blind and very small. She was a Shitzu. If you have any stories that are funny and delightful ☺ please share it with us at Happylilikoi.blogspot.com

For women only

How do you please a woman? In trying to answer this question we have asked many ladies of differing ages what it takes to please her. Mentally, romantically, physically, and sensually. While our answers have been varied, just as you'd imagine, overwhelmingly the answers appear to be that women want to be listened to. Women want to be desired. Women desire to be loved and respected. Women need to be appreciated. Hands down women basically need to feel cared for.

Women need to know or feel that they can trust their significant other. Absolutely undeniably this is essential according to most every woman that we interviewed.

How do you please a woman or a man? Give them laughter, that what they really want. Laughter is the key to the soul and without that the relationship seems to be doomed to fail at some point in time. Of course this depends upon the nature of the relationship. But all in all, taking most things into account, we at happylilikoi.blogspot believe that the essence of a happy relationship is built upon the legs of happy people in the relationship.

A Captivating Movie

Keep in mind this probably for girls only. However, most men (most REAL men) will enjoy it too.

 Click here to experience a preview

Dark Chocolate is Healthy Chocolate!

Did'ya Know?

In case your husband or boyfriend thinks that you are eating too much chocolate, well... I'll let you know right here and now that chocolate has more benefits than you might have ever imagined.

So in case he has something to say about that (or she!), click here and teach them a thing or two about chocolate - and I'll bet you'll get a smile.

FYI: Consuming milk while attempting to derive health benefits from dark chocolate will interfere with the absorption of antioxidants.

I Am Delighted!

... because the world is a beautiful place.

Insofar as we are inundated with talk about global warming, let's start concentrating on how beautiful the world still is and I believe will be for the lifetimes of our children. 

I have a dream. That dream brings me to a place of great beauty and incomprehensible joy and delight. 

Let us concentrate on these things and let us be in rapture.

What's for dinner?

Hawaiian fish is bountiful in its variety. There is something for everyone's tastes and you may not even know it exists yet!

One fish you might have never head of before is monchong. It is one of the most popular fish you can find in a restaurant (and is my favorite source of protein). It is light yet firm in its texture and has a wonderful flavor. Or how about Ono, Mahi Mahi or Opah? These are other fantastic options that you will find if you visit Maui or the other Hawaiian Islands.

Check back for next week's post about What's For Dinner!

Aloha!

Some of my favorite flowers - and aren't they incredible?!

Protea are beautiful flowers. Not necessarily fragrant, but they are rich in variety and color. Protea came from South Africa and have been said to originated over 300 million years ago - isn't that amazing?

Tuberose are extremely fragrant, along with gardenia, ginger and pikake (or jasmine). If you travel to Hawaii, you will find them for sale in abundance by street corner vendors, and also look for them in fresh floral arrangements such as lovely hand-made leis.

Plumeria (also called frangipani in Australia) is well-known for its beautiful aroma. It has a myriad of different colors and scents.

There are so many tropical flowering plants, each of them unique and magnificent. It is fun to keep learning about these splendid gifts of nature!

My Kumu Hula (hula teacher)

My kumu hula, Auntie Gordine, otherwise known as my teacher of hula, is a wonderful instructor and dear friend. She is a person who teaches me so much about the history and traditions of hula and the importance of understanding the unwritten language which is important to know if one is to be enriched by the beauty of the Hawaiian Islands as well as the Hawaiian culture - to be enraptured by the Hawaiiana.

There are so many beautiful songs of hula that entice people to learn to sing and dance. Some of my favorites singers and musicians are Kealii Reichel, Makaha Sons of Ni'ihau, Barry Flanagan, and Iz, who is known for his rhythmic telling of stories. While he was alive, Iz weighed about 650 pounds. He still is looked upon as being one of Hawaii's most loved and cherished songwriters.

I get to go to hula class every week and this is something I really look forward to. I highly recommend that everyone has an activity where they look forward to each day with so much joy and enthusiasm!

The day that I had a stroke and my life changed forever

On this day, I couldn't believe that my life could possibly be changed so utterly and completely. I had a life that was so filled with joy and fun and making money and laughter, only to be thrashed and taken to a different place that I did not recognize. I was in a coma for more than two weeks and did not know where I was or if I was even alive. This was hell. No one even wanted to accept me in a stroke hospital - they treated me as if I was already gone. 

To say the least, this story is a very difficult story to write. Up until now, there are not many people I chose to have listen to this story. In fact, what I have found is that I have lost 9/10 of my very good friends as it seems that no one really knows how to deal with their very good friend who completely lost their life and is now so different. My life was so much fun and was filled with joy and laughter and love and kindness and God and love of life only to be radically thrown in the trash. It feels like my life has become so very sad and I am loathe to share with the world what my life is now.

I came very close to ending my life and my husband came very close to ending it for me. I try to hide my deepest feelings for the sake of my beautiful daughter who does not deserve to know any of this. I only want her to know the Tara that existed prior to the stroke that ripped apart my life at the seams.

And now, two and a half years later, the page is turning. I made the decision to change the way I am dealing with my life and how I'm moving away from the sadness and into the light. The light is where I will find myself and I intend to travel, find the laughter, find the joy, find the peace and find the Lord who gives me my life in such a wonderful way again. I am a WINNER and I am now walking again, I am swimming, I am hoping to be driving soon and have every intention of turning my life into roses without the thorns. I am joy and I am hope and I am love. In all of these things I can hardly wait to see the Arc d' triumph, the statue of David in Firenze and to see the colors that exist in the Greek Islands again. In fact, in the next few weeks, I intend to go free-diving in the ocean off Maui.

smile

This blogs for you

In a world of many things to share information about, I thought that I would share some information about the importance of cleansing your teeth as well as flossing your teeth for at least 10 minutes a day. While this may not seem so important to some of you, it is to me because I like to show my teeth off to members of the opposite sex as often as possible. Trust me, it works!!  

My Birthday!

Saturday was my birthday and I went to one of my favorite restaurants which is Five Palms in Wailea. It's a very lovely restaurant with beautiful food and elegant yet casual atmosphere. There are palm trees that sway and lovely pu-pus (appetizers) and a menu that nearly beats all. I went out with my daughter Malia and Andrew, my husband. They have a lilikoi créme brulée for dessert that is to die for! (or to live for!)

Before dinner at Five Palms, we went to the Maui Ocean Center Aquarium.  They have both indoor and outdoor aquariums with sharks, lovely long-tentacled jellyfish and clean toilets!

It was a very lovely day to share with my family, albeit one member of my family was missing, my beautiful son Matthew who was missed by all. 

HAPPY ?? LILIKOI ?

In this message I want to speak about something that is not really a happy subject but is still a subject that needs to be spoken about. It needs to be spoken about because so very often people really are not comfortable talking about subjects that have something to do with pain and suffering. I happen to be a person who has been left with an incredible disease that has left me having to deal with pain it's indescribable and the medications that I have to take to be able to survive another day in the midst of the pain. Therefore it is not a happy subject and is a subject I don't like to speak about with friends as well as friends don't want to speak to me about it but it is real in fact it's so real that it'd literally transcends everything in my life and leaves me wanting to discontinue this life anymore. Therefore it is a very difficult subject to bring up. It is a difficult subject to talk about. It is a difficult subject to think about. And mostly it is a difficult subject in which I have to live with. Every day of my life it consumes me. How I wish this wernt the case. But reality tells me that it is the case. There are undoubtedly thousands of people who have two live their lives in hiding and in sorrow. Because it is just so difficult and indescribable that I cannot believe that the Lord has left me with such a disease. But he has. And now I must continue my life making the absolute best of it as I possibly can. And this is why I write to you. Because I know there are people who need to know that there are other people who understand what this must be like. I would like to firstly speak about the fact that even with such an disabling disease you can live through it. You can find the medications that are necessary to maintain some semblance of a normal life. I would love to offer my hand to anyone who needs some compassion. I might add that compassion does seem to be in short supply. However I know that compassion is possible with the right personality in the right person to listen to the way you're feeling.  

  

Learning blog etiquette

As Tara's learns to blog... She learns some of the etiquette required one needs to know about blogging. What I now have come to understand is that when one blogs everybody sees everything that was on your mind at that moment. So what one needs to learn about blogging is to keep some information private unless one wants to let the world know exactly what you were feeling at the moment. For example never tell people that you feel like having a cry or having a laugh or something else that you felt that was truly funny that probably shouldn't have been shared

*maybe it's best to not share some things and laugh about them later. Those are my ideas about blogging for the day.